Tricks and Treats
by Wordsplat
Summary: Starkoween is totally a holiday, though it's mostly an excuse to eat candy, get drunk, and scare the shit out of people. Also, costumes are a Very Important Decision, fangs are fun, and Clint dressing as cupid could only really go one way. Halloween oneshot, TonyxSteve


"Clint Barton, I will have you know that I know _exactly _where you're aiming that arrow and I suggest you redirect it before I do it for you-someplace the sun doesn't shine."

"Sheesh, so aggressive, Stark," Clint just grinned, redirecting the bright red, heart-shaped arrow away from Tony's ass and off over his shoulder, hitting the bell of the store with a loud ringing sound, "Alright, these shoot good, I'm satisfied."

"Shoot well," Steve corrected, exiting the nearest changing stall with a bright blush, "So, uh…?"

Tony examined him appreciatively, Clint made a horrified face, and Thor grinned his approval enthusiastically. This wasn't unusual-Tony was always teasing him with looks like that, Clint was always over-dramatic, and Thor thought everything was Delightful Midgardian Fun. He looked to Natasha and Bruce, his more sane teammates; they looked thoughtful, considering, and Steve started to doubt his choice.

"What? What's wrong with it?"

"Wow," Coulson blinked, turning from where he'd been 'persuading' the cashier to put away their phone, "That's…wow."

"Don't go all fanboy on us now, Agent," Natasha smirked from the other side of the shop.

"I'm not," Coulson huffed, "'_Fanboying'. _I was-it's just-black hair and you're a dead ringer, Captain."

"You think?" Steve turned, examining the Superman costume in the full-length mirror.

A week until Halloween, and they were still working on costumes. Clint seemed to have decided on the cupid costume he was wearing, and was retreating to the changing rooms to change back. Natasha was flicking through a couple of different things, but had yet to try anything on. Thor was keen on wearing nothing but a Greek-style toga, but Bruce was working on behalf of the team to dissuade him (Asgardian junk was not great at staying within toga zone). Bruce and Coulson both had secret costumes tucked away somewhere already, and Tony and Steve remained indecisive in spite of both trying on at least ten costumes each apiece.

The group had spent the past week decorating the insanely large tower, leaving the costumes to the last minute. Now they were putting around the fourth shop they'd been to today while the shop owner not-so-subtly took pictures of them with his phone. Normally the invasion of privacy might have bothered Steve, but he was enjoying himself too much to care.

This would be their first Halloween as a team, and of course they'd gone crazy. Tony and Clint went crazy for decorations, Bruce and Natasha were heavily invested the complexly terrifying haunted house they'd created out of the basement levels, and Thor took great pleasure and had surprising skill in carving pumpkins. Steve just loved getting swept up in the others plans; he'd gone out to buy candy and supplies with Tony, helped hang decorations with Clint, carved pumpkins with Thor, and made scary-themed food for the haunted house with Bruce.

It was all delightfully fun and team-building and just a little spooky, and Steve loved it.

"You work the spandex as well as always, Cap," Tony chuckled, "But I think I'm gonna have to cite team loyalty here."

"Yeah, traitor!" Clint called from the register, where he was purchasing his cupid costume, "C'mon, you never mix spandex, Steve, it's just not done."

"I think that refers to the fraternization rules, actually," Bruce pointed out.

"Oh," Clint frowned, thinking a moment, then, "We have fraternization rules?"

"Yes," Coulson sighed, "But we also have annual sexual harassment seminars, and yet, strangely, I didn't see any of your shining faces last week."

"We had more important things to do," Tony waved him off, "Like prep Stark Tower for Starkoween!"

"That's still not a thing," Natasha rolled her eyes.

"My tower, my titles," Tony just replied gleefully, nicking a zombie suit off the rack and examining it, "What do think, Steve?"

"What's that…a zombie? As in, a mindless dead body? Isn't that sort of…boring, for you?"

"Man, we gotta get you hooked on Walking Dead," Tony grinned, "Think bloodier. Think…cracking skulls and sucking out the brains."

"Fair point," Steve gave a half-nod half-shrug of approval, "That could be interesting."

"Yeah, I can see you sucking head, Stark," Clint snickered, and Tony chucked the nearest object at him, a packet of fake fangs.

"Suck thi-ooh!" Tony grabbed another packet while Clint ducked the first, "I got it! Classic."

"Stark, stop throwing things," Coulson snapped, "We're trying to keep this low-key, rememb-?"

"Loki? Where?" Thor demanded, his head snapping up and his hand raised out in a way they all knew too well.

"Thor, _no-!"_

Too late; Mjolnir crashed through the shop wall and into Thor's palm. Thor looked up at them all guiltily, eyes wide.

"Loki?"

"No Loki," Steve sighed, then found himself thinking back on the week before last, when Tony had yet _again _begged him for a puppy. He leaned over to whisper to Tony, "Why on earth would you want a puppy? We have Thor, just look at those puppy dog eyes."

"True," Tony scrunched his nose, examining Thor, "He _is_ very cuddly."

"Starky-boo, are you going soft?" Steve grinned, beginning the Nickname Game.

"In your dreams, oh Captain of my bed."

"Don't be so sensitive, Iron Babe."

"Sensitive? Me? My darling rugged Rogers, I am offended."

"So dramatic, honey bunny."

"That _so _doesn't count, Brooklyn baby."

"…shoot," Steve huffed, conceding defeat. It was true; by the unofficial rules of the Nickname Game, the nickname had to involve something to do with them specifically; honey bunny didn't count.

"You two play the weirdest fucking games _ever," _Clint gagged, "My costume's paid for, so will you just pay for the wall already so we can get out of here?"

"No need to get your feathers all ruffled, Hawky-pie, you're welcome to play too," Tony winked, and Clint groaned. Steve very quickly stifled the frown that flashed to his face; he didn't care if Tony called Clint cute nicknames. Didn't care at all.

* * *

Six days, five Halloween stores, four fist fights, three returned costumes, two supervillain attacks, and at least a million dollars in damages, decorations, and costumes later, it was the night before Halloween. Steve was headed to the rec room, exhausted after their final day of shopping. Steve had eventually decided on being a werewolf, and bought a rather convincing costume as well as a pair of fake fangs to go with.

Steve was surprised to note that no one was in the rec room-a very rare occurrence indeed. He scooped up the prized remote, and held it up valiantly.

"Thanks, snookums," Tony grinned, appearing out of nowhere and plucking the remote right from Steve's hand before collapsing on the couch bonelessly.

"…Tony," Steve blinked, still not moving from where he'd stood.

"No."

"Tony, you had the remote last time," Steve pointed out with a pout, joining Tony on the couch.

"Mmm…still no."

"Come on, you never let me have a turn with the remote. You always make me watch Teen Wolf with you."

"You _love _Teen Wolf," Tony snorted, not buying Steve's poor-me act for a moment.

"…okay, maybe, but there are other shows I like too," Steve protested.

Though, really, it was a half-hearted complaint at best, because, okay, he totally harbored a soft spot for the show. It had sparked his budding appreciation for the male form; he was grateful, even if it suddenly put him in an odd spot with his very attractive, very male best friend. Plus, it was an hour a week he could spend curled up on the couch with said attractive best friend watching half-naked, muscular men run around.

Steve was old-fashioned, but he wasn't made of stone.

"Maybe if you kissed me or something," Tony grinned flirtatiously, in that way he did far too often for Steve's comfort.

"What?"

"You want the remote, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then y-whoa!"

In a flash, Steve rolled over on top of Tony, straddling his lap, pressing both Tony's wrists against the couch. He leaned in, smelling the metal and musk that was Tony Stark, his lips a whisper against Tony's. Their lips almost brushed…but not quite.

"Give me the…" he began to murmur, but his words were lost as Tony exhaled, his breath shaky and his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

Tony's eyes, wide and brown and expressive as hell, were mapping Steve's face like he'd never seen it before, like he'd never see it again. They trailed over his jaw, slowed over his lips, caught in his eyes. Steve couldn't look at anything but Tony's eyes; there were no boundaries there, none of his usual posturing, defensive guarding, just…Tony, no more than a breath away from him.

It would be so easy.

The remote hit the couch cushion with a soft thump, Tony having let go without realizing it. Brought back to earth by the sound, Steve felt his heart bottom out somewhere into the pit of his stomach and he took the easy way out, snatching up the remote and holding it aloft, crowing triumphantly, if a touch breathlessly, "Thank you!"

"You cheated!" Tony howled instantly with a scandalized look on his face, shoving Steve back. Instead of sliding off Tony's lap and therefore the couch, Steve wiggled and managed to maneuver himself into falling across the couch, Tony ending up on his stomach, reaching over him for the remote, "You jerk! Oh, how America will mourn your turn to the dark side!"

"You said kiss _or something," _Steve pointed out with a grin, still holding the remote far from Tony's reach, even as the man squirmed to grab it. Really, Tony was adorably tiny.

"Don't think you've won this yet, pretty boy," Tony smirked, diving across Steve's chest for the remote, "I'm just getting started with yo-!"

"_Ohmigod!" _Clint wailed, covering his eyes and fast-walking back out of the room.

And, okay, maybe Steve could see where Clint was coming from. Because from the doorway, with Steve's legs up in the air the way they were, and Tony's head the only other part of their bodies that was visible, okay, _maybe _it might look like there were less than decent activities going on at the moment.

"No, Clint, we're not-" Steve tried to call after him.

"On the _couch? _You fucking bastards!" Clint only groaned back, "We _use _that!"

"We're not having sex, birdbrain!" Tony growled, though if you asked Steve, he almost sounded a tad upset about it.

But then, Steve might have been biased.

* * *

Finally, it was Halloween.

The Avengers Tower was a sight to behold; every outside inch had been covered in decorations, from sticky spiders to cobwebs to ghosts hanging off the paneling. Pumpkins carved in all sorts of ways were strewn across the entrance, along with the flying techno-bats Tony had created and programmed to circle Avenger Tower's lawn on repeat. The fog machines were on, creating a nice misty effect over the whole thing, and it was overall just perfect. They'd agreed to keep the outside child-friendly, and much as Clint and Tony had tried to fight it, they knew it made sense. The Avengers were public figures, they were sure to get plenty of children and scaring them off would be horrible.

The first floor was spooky but not terrifying, a couple of "gotcha" gags lying in wait, but nothing actually scary. It was the party floor, with music playing and a dance floor open and a bar for their adult guests. Mostly it was food; candy galore, along with plenty of things like "zombie guts" and "blood punch" and "frozen eyeballs".

It was a party type thing, anyone who stopped by was welcome to stay, and they'd invited the few "normal" friends they had-Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey, of course, along with Jane, Darcy, Dr. Selvig, and Bruce's girlfriend, Betty. The SHIELD agents had all gotten invites courtesy of Coulson, more for the damage control he suspected the Avengers would eventually cause than actual partying purposes. So Hill was there, and Steve was relatively sure Fury was hiding in the woodwork somewhere as well, but, hey, who cared? He was having a blast.

Below the party was the haunted house, and really, Bruce and Natasha had outdone themselves. There was a very large warning sign, saying, seriously, we are fucking demented, this shit is crazy terrifying, enter at your own risk. Well, not quite those words-though Tony had tried to post that sign, but Steve had put a stop to it-but there was a similarly serious warning. Steve himself had only had the heart to go through about a quarter of it, but he knew the neighborhood teens were getting a kick out of it.

Natasha had ended up as a spider of course, all black silk and long nails and bright red lips. She took to hiding in cobwebbed corners of the haunted house, scaring the living daylights out of even the most hardened adults. Bruce was the final scare, dressed as Dr. Frankenstein. He sat at the end of the haunted house portion, next to the elevator back upstairs, bent over his lab bench and pretending to be working furiously. He'd rigged a special effects field around where he lay in wait, and when the brave ones stepped towards him to try and get to the elevator, a holograph popped up, making it look like Bruce had turned around and transformed into the Hulk with a great roar, charging right for them. When the holographic Hulk caught them, it would disappear with a pop, leaving a surely successfully terrified visitor.

Bruce was rather proud of himself, even if Tony had helped a bit with the holographics.

Upstairs, Thor had been thankfully talked out of the toga, convinced to wear a Viking costume instead. He, along with Jane, doled out candy at the front door to the kiddies who were too young for the party or haunted house, a job he absolutely loved and went about with great enthusiasm. Though really, what didn't Thor do with enthusiasm?

Clint had stuck with his cupid costume, sort of a Greek-esque, angel-looking type thing. It came with a pink plastic bow and a quiver of heart-shaped arrows, and though they did fire off fine, Clint found them offensive to his skills. Since he refused to dye "Babyhawk"-his bow-or "The Bitches"-his arrows-pink, he had been insistent that Tony build him a new set just for Halloween. Tony had declared it a waste of his time; Clint had promised that if he did, he'd say Happy Starkoween to all the visitors.

By the next day, he'd been presented with a functional pink bow and set of rubber heart-shaped arrows that he could fire off at visitors to his heart's content without injury. Clint had quickly dubbed the set, "Pinky-pie and the Heart-Breakers". Tony had accused Clint of watching My Little Pony; Clint had accused Tony of watching Teen Wolf. They argued a while but in the end, no fists, arrows, or repulsor blasts were involved, so Steve was satisfied.

As a result, today Clint divided his time between wishing guests a rather begrudging "Happy Starkoween" and hiding in high places to shoot couples with his love arrows. Though Coulson had been about to tell Clint to knock it off, it seemed the guests found it hilarious and or endearing, so he let it slide.

It seemed it was expected for the two recipients of the arrows to kiss for the crowd; Steve personally thought that would be rather embarrassing, but Clint hadn't been wrong yet-all the people he shot, couples or not, were all too eager to kiss, even if there was some blushing afterwards-so it went over well enough with the party guests.

Coulson was dressed as Captain America, something Steve found flattering, though he had to admit it wasn't much of a surprise at this point. Clint nudged Steve and told him not to take it too personally, Coulson had been Captain America every Halloween since the dawn of time. Steve assumed he was kidding, until Natasha nodded her head seriously.

Tony was a vampire, fangs and all, and divided his time between chatting with Steve and racing about restocking candy, because _wow _was the stuff going fast. Luckily, Tony had all but literally bought out a couple of candy stores, so they were good up to and including the apocalypse. Steve mostly handed out candy with Thor, reminded Clint not to aim at people's faces, and tried not to stare at Tony too noticeably.

It was harder than it should have been.

"Ow," Steve frowned as something zinged off his butt. It didn't hurt exactly, but it had been rather pointy, "What the-?"

"-fuck was that?" Tony finished his sentence, though perhaps a touch more colorfully, and picked up one of the heart-shaped arrows off the ground by his foot, "Barton, so help me-"

Steve heart fluttered a bit.

"You shot a love arrow at me and…?" Steve glanced up disbelievingly to the top of the fridge, where Clint was currently perched.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

The crowd began to chant, growing in fervor. They were led, of course, by none other than a very drunk Darcy making noises that were rather inappropriate for what was supposed to be just a peck, not to mention for a lady. But Steve had long learned to give up his preconceived notions about "ladies" when it came to Darcy Lewis.

"At me," Tony blinked, first at Clint, then Steve, "And _Steve."_

Steve only had eyes for Tony. Tony, who was playing it blasé, but who's Adam's apple bobbed in a sign that he was actually a touch nervous. Tony, who he had almost kissed at some point last night just over a stupid remote but chickened out at the last moment. Tony, who he suddenly wanted to kiss more than absolutely anything.

"Yes, you and Steve," Clint grinned from ear to ear in answer to Tony's question, "The almighty Cupid has spoken! Doth thou doubt my gaydar-eth powers?"

"Little much," Natasha noted, pouring herself a shot.

"Gaydar-eth?" Clint checked.

"Gaydar-eth," Natasha confirmed.

Steve shuffled his feet. When was Clint going to shut up?

"Fine! Thou doth question my love-making powers!"

"That just makes it sound like they're questioning your abilities in bed," Bruce pointed out from across the kitchen.

Steve gave a frustrated, impatient little noise in his throat. Why wouldn't Tony _look _at him?

"Which is so _not _even a question, I am a _fantastic _lay_, _obviously," Clint huffed, and Natasha snorted, "But okay, that's not the point. What's the word I'm looking for here?"

"Match-making?" Pepper suggested, entering the kitchen to fill up one of the candy bowls for the umpteenth time.

"_That's _it! Thou art questioning my-"

"Oh my God!" Steve blurted at last, crossing the little space left between him and Tony in two steps, "Why are we not _kissing _already?"

And just like that, he pressed his lips to Tony's. Tony clearly had not anticipated a Steve Rogers plastered to his mouth at that particular moment, but let it never be said that Tony couldn't go with the flow. There was a brief moment of no response where Steve almost questioned Tony's feelings, and then there was a very firm hand in his hair and a tongue down his throat and _oh hey, there you are. _

When they parted, Pepper sighed.

"Why do I always seem to enter at the strangest possible moment?"

Tony made a face.

"What? I mean hey, congrats on the whole newly-resolved-sexual-tension thing, it certainly took you long enough," Pepper quickly added, "I just mean that I entered and then suddenly Steve is yelling something about kissing already and then hey, you're making out. It was an odd moment to walk into without context, is all. Stop giving me that _face, _Tony, I mean it, I'm happy for you-"

"Not you," Tony waved her off, still making the face, maneuvering his tongue around in his mouth, until he finally stuck it out, proudly presenting a little white plastic triangle on it, "Ad-ah!"

"Gross," it was Clint's turn to make a face, and Tony plucked it off his tongue.

"Is that…?" Steve paused, running a tongue over his teeth. Oh.

"Proof that I made out with a werewolf," Tony grinned, holding up the plastic fang that had been previously attached to Steve's canine.

"Oops."

"Let's hope they're more careful with their condoms," it was Natasha of all people who commented, her face as poker-neutral as ever.

There was a brief moment of silence before absolutely uproarious laughter burst out, and Steve turned bright red.

"That's dif-I wouldn't-we aren't-" Steve spluttered a moment, unsure how to even begin to reply to that.

"For the record, 'oops' is not a good response," Pepper noted dryly, though a smirk was evident on her face.

"Ignore them, they're all horrible," Tony rolled his eyes, grabbing Steve by the wrist and dragging him out of the room at top speed, "_I _think you're wonderful and we should totally continue that thing we were doing a minute ago."

Tony turned down a hallway, pulling Steve into a room and looking at him from under his lashes rather seductively.

"You know, with the tongue, and the teeth, and the oh, hey, that, that's great too, that's _oh-"_

That was about the point Steve pinned Tony to the wall. He kissed and nipped and dragged his teeth over Tony's neck, his remaining fang apparently making an impression, if Tony's little shudder was anything to go by.

"Okay?"

"_Okay?" _Tony seemed incredulous that Steve even had to ask, then, a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes, "I'll show you 'okay'."

Tony's own fake fangs found purchase on Steve's collarbone, and, well, there wasn't much talking after that.

Halloween in the future, Steve decided, was _fantastic._


End file.
